oh the past, it haunts you… and asks you out for drinks

I have a bad case of the old ghosts.  In one week not only did I get contacted by Junior, who I haven’t talked to in an ice age but also Piglet.  Junior just wanted to shoot the shit and possibly hang out, which I am super cool with since I no longer have any crushy feelings towards him and there is no way his crazy ex will enter the picture and pet my hand again.

Piglet on the other hand informed me he had some of my stuff and then started apologizing for stuff.  Don’t get me wrong apologies are great until they come with strings.  He wanted to get back together.  I told him it wasn’t happening.  I thought he got it at the time but alas no. Text after text about how he misses me until I had lay down the law.  I hate being the bad guy…. but it had to be done.  I’m waiting for the crazy, because he is crazy.

And then out of the blue some guy on OkStupid emailed me…. I talked to this guy years ago on POF, right around when I started this blog.  I remembered everything we ever talked about on POF possibly because there were warning bells….. swell.

boom, boom, boom hello past dudes… goodbye past dudes. ok Junior, except for you because we’re actually friends.

in the real world I met a guy, a guy I actually really like.  Unfortunately he’s a complete flake.  He owns that he’s a flake but still a flake…. we shall call him Ubernerd.

 

Stay tuned for my date with the really flamin gay guy who doesn’t know he is gay and my problem with bb guns….. it might be worth it but probably not.

the 999%

so I’ve been protected from 999 spam blog comments. awesome. great. peachy. swell.

Can that happen in my real life?  I mean, my cat-kid is doing his best but……  well… when your  ”mom” is a fucktard there is only so much you can do. And you’re a fucking cat…which is a whole’ nother ball o’yarn.

but honestly, seriously I feel like a bad person right now. hell I almost sent a text to piglet ….. like I want to invite that nut back in my life.  All of the sudden I’m on the defensive…. good thing I didn’t run into TGTBT I would have been sobbing on the mofo about how I still loved him.

Being a better person?

So after about a month of radio silence a friend commented on one of my posts on facebook.  It’s that passive aggressive vaguebooker.  I’m a little torn if I should say anything or not.

This person had no comment on all my good news from a couple of weeks ago and hasn’t texted me in a long time when we used to talk at least a couple of times a week.  Every time I would text them it seemed like they would answer out of obligation and after the last go around about Piglet I just stopped texting.  I couldn’t take another round of “if it was me……” that was generally hypocritical when all I needed was to vent.  In the end I did what they suggested but at the time the manner in which the advice was delievered was unappreciated.

I might be possibly mistaken but it seems to me this person always needs to feel like they are right.  While I recognize that as something I also do I’ve recently found it annoying.  Perhaps because I feel like they on some occasions try to rewrite history when we talk about things.  A few months back they made an accusation towards someone I now hate, but what they accused them of strikes me as not right.  I can’t go to the source because I do hate the guy with a fiery passion, but what was told to me doesn’t jive.  This may have been the beginning of my questioning the vaguebooker’s agenda a bit.

In a way I feel a mixture of guilt and sympathy for how this person deals with things.  They have as many problems as I do and I understand this change of history is to give this person a feeling of control over the situation that they feel like they are lacking. Yet the dishonesty of it makes me itchy.

An example of this was when I waffling about Piglet and his unceremonious dropping of the L bomb and me not knowing how to respond.  This person told me to say it back because it was obvious I felt the same way.  But I didn’t. I knew it was too soon and I didn’t know how I felt yet.  Sure there was the giddiness of a new relationship but that is not love.  Just weeks later when I was trying to figure out how to get out of things if I couldn’t fix them the tide had turned.  This person suddenly already knew these things about Piglet that it would be impossible for them to know and things they had previously been excited about and thought were great now had been warning bells for them all along.

I guess my thoughts are, if you’re going to pick a path and not speak up when you see danger signs for your friend fine but don’t try to throw it in their face when they finally see them.  That’s just petty.  You had an opportunity at the time to warn someone and you didn’t take it.  Maybe you thought your friend would flip out and get angry that you weren’t being supportive, but an “I told you so.” later on isn’t exactly friendly or supportive either.  All of this is a lesson to myself as well to be more aware when I do the same thing.

Anyhow I still am not sure if I should acknowledge the olive branch or just let it go.  Let the friendship go that is.  It will never be what it was again, and that is at least half my fault if not more.   At this point there really aren’t all that many hurt feelings and if we pick things up again there is that opportunity for resentment to bubble to the surface.

More like………..

Irishman Part Douche!  I had an email waiting for me in the morning that was a response to the one I sent the night before which was nice.  Things were going swimmingly and then I looked at his profile.  It said he was vegan, the following is the conversation that ensued….. spelling errors and all.

Me: Speaking of food, what made you go vegan?

douche with an accent: research on the effects of animal meats to human health and digestion. if you research it you’ll see that its not great, we should only eat small animal (fish.poultry) and vegetation. just like every other primate does

Me: Oh I know quite a bit about veganism, but what you’re describing is vegatarianism. If you’re still eating poultry and fish you’re not even really a vegetarian.

dwa: exactly but its closer to vegan then vegetarain, so i put the closer word down, i dont eat dairy or red meat, i rarely eat fish/poultry. i eat nothing that uses animal oils.

i know what i’m talking about. and what i put was the most accurate and easily understood.

do you just like arguing or something? pretty horrible to do to someone who was a minute ago offering to help you out if you ever needed it

(here my friends is where my switch was flipped and went agro……)

me: Whoa, you’re being a bit overly sensitive. Apparently you and I have different definitions of veganism. My former roommate was a hardline vegan, basically if it came from something with a face she didn’t eat it. Including honey and refined sugars…….
I find you calling me horrible fairly rude just because I don’t happen to agree with you about what you should call your eating habits.

dwa: you have had a critique about everything i said, and i still chose the right word for my profile but thank you for all the corrections (even though you’ve been wrong everytime)

you are welcome for trying to help you

(his offer of help consisted of, “You should work for yourself like I do, I could tell you how.” so yea not really all that helpful but whatever.)

me: Good to see you handle disagreements so well. Good luck out there finding someone who will always agree with you.

(After this I blocked him.  But unblocked him when I got home so I could send him this, yes, I was really that pissed off about being told I was wrong when I knew I wasn’t…. and the shitty way he did it.)

me: Just thought I would help you out here, no need to thank me for the help either. But you are the one who is wrong.
http://www.vegblog.org/archive/2004/10/26/classifications-of-vegetarians/ notice it says vegans do not eat any meat of any kind. no fish no poultry no red meat no white meat. Though you do not eat it often you still consider poultry and fish to be a part of your diet.
You are NOT vegan, you are not close to vegan, the whole point of vegan being NO MEAT AT ALL. But I’ll tell you what you are, you’re a jerk. For the record. An offer of help does not in any way make me beholden to you what so ever not even that it should cause me to refrain from pointing out when you are wrong, but no need to thank me for saving you from having an ACTUAL vegan laugh in your face.

And then I blocked him again because I’m a bitch and I must have the last word.

If it wasn’t obvious already, I’m having a I hate people kind of day.

 

The Irishman part deux?

I got a very strange message on okstupid tonight.  ”Did you get my earlier message?” “Nope, what did it say?” the answer “I’m from Ireland and you look like the girls from back home, I asked if you were from overseas at all”

 

Of late this is not really weird.  Months back I had a guy tell me I looked Swedish.  Piglet’s mom said I looked “exotic”.  And now this Irish boy says I look like I’m from overseas.  Oddly enough, I believe I look as American as you and me… whatever that means!

I’m one of those people that can spot someone who is not American from fifty paces… Brit, Australian, Scottish, Irish, Swedish, Danish…. ect. if we’re talking about the lighter shades of skin color.  There is something about a European.  I miss on occasion but I have a brilliant track record.  I picked out the Swede kid in my calc class without ever hearing him speak, I don’t know why.

So yes, I find a special kind of amusement in my own ambiguity……. and this Irish boy from Cork? well, he is interesting…… he thinks I’m cute and I do have weakness for boys with accents.

le yawn

In a word, exhausted.  Working and school.  I’ve become soft and spoiled.  Of course because I have zero time boys out the ears. two different guys want to have drinks with me this weekend.  I think I’ll be turning down both.  A) I’m broke. B) too many things to do before the semester ends.  One is rather mysterious and piques my interest a bit, but really not enough to make an effort.  He says he’s just looking for a pal, but come on he emails me pretty much everyday.  I never email him first. (slightly wary, anyhaps…. no picture on okstupid. But he’s a law student at my school.  Not that that has any bearing on attractiveness.  He’s very intent on playing drunk board games with me.  This will pass after I whoop him at something.)

Actually having a job and things to do on the days I don’t go to school has actually imbued me with energy I’ve been lacking for…. well over a year now.  So yay.  But my feet are killing me.

There is this guy at work that I have noticed………….. but I also know this is a horribly destructive road so I haven’t bothered to look for a ring when I see him.  He’s not even that cute but something about him striking to me.  We’ve been introduced to each other only maybe 6 times by other co workers but it’s sort of how things roll in this enviroment.  Freaky friendly, and yet not.  I got the scoop from my lovely gay pal about everyone’s dirt tonight.  Ok, everyone but the striking guy………… no, no, I shall not tread on that path.  But I like looking at him  Besides I generally look very bland at work so I’m sure he hasn’t noticed me at all…….. and I am vowing now I will not ask sweet gay co-worker about the striking man.  With my luck he’s probably married.

 

Cheaterpants emailed me the other night “We’re ships passing in the night.”  No, you might be a ship dude, but I’m on a jet ski whizzing away because I have no time or patience for you now that I’m employed and can buy my own coffee.

On top of all that I got inspired to start writing fiction again and have been seized by an idea that I cannot shake.  Yup, way too busy to be lonely.

and it all stamps on…..

I had my orientation for my new job today. Exhausting and yet I think I’m going to like working there.

I’ve gotten some okstupid messages but at this point I’m wondering what is the point of dating?  I’m leaving in 9 short months why meet someone here and feel bad about leaving? I might have to do it all up Jenni style (http://ohjenni.com/2012/03/16/when-in-jersey/) and start taking the worst dates possible and “dressing” for them.  If only to amuse myself….. and really isn’t that what it’s all about AMUSING ME!!! Yes, this is what my life is about right now.

I have some internet dating tid bits to share but not right at this hot moment.  So, sit tight friends!