Let’s just be friends…

We’ve all heard it one or two, or twelve times in our lives.  The “Let’s Just Be Friends” speech.  I’m sure there are some people who actually mean it.  I don’t remember actually ever telling that to someone.  I might have but I’m sure I didn’t mean it and it was someone I just wasn’t interested in.

Face it, “Let’s Just Be Friends” is a crock of shit, just as “Let’s Just Stay Friends” it makes the implication that we were friends before.  We weren’t.  We might be friends someday far in the future if I can be bothered to remember your name in 6 months.  Trying to stay friends always smacks of desperation when you’re on the receiving end of the speech, 95% of the time you’re just hoping the other person will change their mind.

The exception is if you were friends before you dated/slept together/made out.  But even that is iffy.  Because there was an attraction at least on one side so instead it was being hopeful the other person would figure it out that you did not have the friend feelings and make a play for you.  That’s not friendship, that’s being passively hopeful.

The other reason friends doesn’t work is one person is always left with feelings that are not friendly.  Either they are still in relationship mode and/or are angry about being dumped.  Or you find out things that the person you dated did and then you get upset you’re not supposed to say anything because you’re  just friends now.

(note: I did NOT get the Let’s be friends speech. I just got to thinking about why it irritates me when people talk about “staying friends”.)